Being Put Down for who I am

      Last night I was going to hang out with a good friend of mine, until he brought up his feelings of me being gay.  He ripped into me about how I can change being gay and how what I am doing will bring me down the wrong path.  He also went on to tell me I am not going to be happy being gay.  I tried explaining to him that being gay is not a choice and that it's something that makes me who I am as an individual.  He disagreed saying it's bull crap!  "People aren't born that way nor do they randomly become gay growing up!"  It hurt me in a way hearing him say he won't support me and be there for me if I am gay.  I was heart broken, someone who I thought cared about me, no longer did because of who I am.  He went on to say other things.
        After about an hour of no longer talking to each other, he messaged me apologizing for his actions.  He said it's hard comprehending me being gay.  I feel for him as well as my parents.  People close to us have to come out of their closets as a friend and Allie of a LGBT person.  I didn't apologize back due to feeling some resentment.  In my case I shouldn't feel sorry because I didn't rip into him about being straight and married.  I also am not the one to judge a person based on how they are.
   

Asked to speak in Church on Fathers Day

Today I got a call from my singles ward Bishop, asking me to speak about fathers this Sunday for fathers day. I texted him back, declining. This was the first time in my life declining to speak in church. There are many reasons why I declined:

1. I don't feel comfortable speaking about my father. I love my dad, but yet I don't get along well with him, so there's not really much to say and if there was it would be a lie.

2. I am not much of a public speaker, I get kinda nervous speaking from a pulpit to a hundred people

3. As a gay Mormon why would I want to speak on an aspect of eternal marriage pertaining to the husbands perspective.

Don't get me wrong I am a gay semi active Mormon. I go to at least one hour of church a week, if I didn't live at my parents I probaly wouldn't go every week. I love the gospel, I just don't feel comfortable in church alot. I am grateful for my Bishop, he has been really supportive and helpful for me, I remember telling him I don't feel comfortable attending all three hours and he replied back: "if you don't feel comfortable cause of your situation then don't go three hours, he did tell me that I should go for sacrament tho.