Thursday, August 30, 2012

Ranting of Critical People

    Tonight I got invited by my Grandfather to attend the Arizona State Football Game.  While on our way my Uncle brings up the Mormons interview on TV a couple nights ago.  My Uncle mentions how he enjoyed the show except for when they interviewed Huntsman's inactive daughter, the temple garments, and Clark Johnson (The Gay Ex-Mormon who is in "The Book Of Mormon" broadway).  My Uncle and Grandfather don't know that I am GAY, however I got somewhat offended by my Uncle's remarks.  My Uncle thought that the interview was somewhat biased towards gays.  I don't see how Ethical-wise being gay to be wrong.   I really enjoyed Clark's Interview and was moved by him talking about his mission and how it brought him closer.  What baffled me is that my Uncle didn't realize that interview Clark didn't speak ill against the church.
          I feel that many gay ex Mormons I meet don't have any ill feelings towards the church rather they respect the church and move on while having a great relationship with God.  I only wish fellow members of the church wouldn't be so critical of Gays and realize Gay people can have a testimony, Gay people can fall in love, and Gay people deserve the same respect given to heteros.  Although I am a somewhat active member and gay, it bugs me when conservative, strict Mormons judge and discriminate against LGBT members.  We are all human and we all are imperfect.  If I really wanted to I could point out flaws to my Uncle at what he does or says, but that's not my place.
          One day I have a wish that everyone will be treated equally, I have a wish that LGBT won't be an issue, rather it will be accepted.  I wish that Gays will be allowed to participate actively in church.  However I respect the temple and it's sacred work to bring husband and wife together for eternity, I understand that no Gay couple can be sealed there, however I do feel that anyone should feel free to marry whoever they want.  Well there is my ranting.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Thinking Spot

       I don't know if any of you do this, especially when struggling and stressed out, and go to a quiet place to escape from being down. Last night I felt alone and felt like many of my friends don't care enough to be there for me. So driving around, I decided to go to my spot.
       My spot is in a secluded area of Mesa, Arizona on a freeway overpass, and it overlooks a dry riverbed and mountains around the valley.  So while sitting in my car depressed and lonely I began thinking and praying to God why am I gay? Why dont I have great friends? Why does my life have to be so hard? I started crying and what helped brighten my experience was seeing the sunset and the colors of the sky. I went from being down to being calm and peaceful. I love having a special spot to get away and to evaluate where I am. I would highly encourage all of you to find a spot to escape those tough days.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Please Do me a favor.

     I know this is not a typical blog post, but it's something I am moved by.  I am sure most if not all of you have seen the Far Between movie trailer and clips.  I have been assured by my other fellow Gays and Allies that it does get better.  Anyways Far Between is trying to raise up to 75,000 dollars toward finishing the movie.  So far they have reached over 11,000 dollars.  I love what this movie has to offer and would love to see it in a theater and the only way of making it possible is by a simple donation of anything.  Here are a few videos that I have enjoyed from Far Between:

Here is the official page to donate as well as with a video/sneak peek:

I hope and urge you to make a donation, if you support homosexuality within the church and elsewhere then show your support and donate!

                             Mike Woods

Sunday, August 12, 2012

To Relate With....

        Part of being different as well as human, is finding people who are in similar situations as we are.  I know, God, and Jesus Christ know that we can't do life or tasks on our own.  We all need a support in certain aspects.   Support and Relationship is so important in society.  We see it in Church, Employment, in Schools, and Groups.
         When I first came out to myself that I was gay, I felt like I needed to turn to someone for help and also someone to listen and relate with.  I turned to a dear best friend and came out to him.  Not knowing about him, he came out to me that he too was gay.  2 years later, here I am with many friends, family, and leaders who know that I am a gay mormon.  Recently here in Arizona, I am in a mormon group of LGBTQ and allied members,  it has been such a blessing being able to have others to relate with and see similar of what they are going through.  I feel like God has brought about 100 of these individuals into my life to help me and have me relate with.  As a Group we meet monthly for a Social at straight member home to have a discussion as well as a time to talk and share similar experiences.  I am truly blessed to have this group as well as friends who have my back when I am going through hard times.
           Another thing I have found easily to relate to is finding other gay mormon blogs through the MoHo Directory, I have found a number of guys who share such similar stories and views as what I share.  The internet is a great tool in finding people who are in similar situations in life as a gay, les, bi, trans mormon.
           In closing, I am grateful to be able to see that there are others like me who are gay and mormon and who want support and friendship and who mainly just want to be accepted just as straight people are.


Monday, August 6, 2012

Is it time to come out publically?

Today I have been having thoughts of coming out of the closet fully public, I have been out to many of my close friends, some relatives, and a few people in my singles ward including my bishop.
The only reason that is stopping me is my parents and me respecting their favor. However I want to begin dating and finding the right guy. I also respect the church on the law of chastity however if I find a guy I want to marry, I will do it.b When it comes to premarital sex I believe no matter what orientation you are sex should be til after marriage.
I am trying to think of the reasons behind coming out or hide part of myself. I also feel like living a lie is not right. I really admire our former prophet Gordon B. Hinkley and his philosophy on being ourselves. Well I will try to see what my thoughts, desires, and prayers decide for when and if I should come out to the world.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Love and Human Rights

      This week was a bit painful seeing as a gay human being, especially in such a conservative religious area.  I saw alot of hateful and homophobic comments on facebook from people who I thought were supportive of me.  The issue regarding Chic-Fil-A speaking out against gay rights was an annoyance.  Seeing both sides of the issue on facebook was pure annoyance in general.  I am not a big fan of politics, but when it comes to my rights as a gay being I feel like I should have equal rights as heterosexuals.
        In High School I didn't think much of dating girls and all, but I also didn't think too much of my orientation.  One thing that I believed was and still is that any human being should have the right to marry whatever sex they please.  Love is a universal thing,  love is a gift for everyone.  Therefore, If you truly love someone and want to be with them forever why not be granted that gift.  Is homosexual marriage going to affect heterosexuals?  I know I am on a ranting right now, but why is it that most lds, conservative, and hateful people hate on us when we are the ones that just want to be allowed the same right as heteros.
         As for the Chic-Fil-A comment and stance on Gay Marriage, I feel it is wrong to come out and rip on the gays and lesbians and Trans.  You don't see Walmart coming out and speaking hate against humans.  I understand people have opinions and especially in a Commercialized Setting, you shouldn't state your opinion to the world and speak evil.  What also got me frustrated was the fact that many people went to Chic-Fil-A on the 1st, to me it was like a big "F*** You Gays",  seeing people rip the LGBT's apart on social media networks got to me and I decided to post a status on my facebook.  Later that day my mom told me she was disappointed in me for posting that.  It got my disappointed in her as well.  What I realize too is people don't understand what we go through.
         Recent news with me, this week I came out to 2 additional people who I look up to.  One is my right-winged Uncle who has clearly stated he opposes homosexual marriages.  He has asked me numerous of times if I am gay and I have just been quiet.  This week I went swimming with some of my closest supportive friends, All of one of them didn't know I was gay.  While we were chilling in the pool we had a discussion about gays in the church and it was a good biased convo.  On my way home from swimming I texted my friend who didn't know and told him I am in fact gay.  His reaction was supportive.
         I know I have supportive friends, some of which support human rights (gay marriage and etc.).  I also have friends and family which love me, but in general don't feel good about me being gay.  It is hard telling people I am Gay and can't help it, but I surely did not choose to be this way.  I am glad to be a gay individual in the Mormon church and have learned alot about my self.  I sometimes wish my close friends and family who don't get where I'm coming from could walk a mile in my shoes as a gay person.  I find it hard being gay, but also amazing because I have been blessed with many new friends who love and support me.   I have been blessed of being a part of a LGBT & Straight Allied Mormon Group here in the Phoenix metro area.  I also have friends who support me and want me to be blessed as they are.